wahhh im hungry…. but brushed my teeth already. so no im not hungry

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read a girl who dates books

"The best feeling in the world is knowing your presence and absence both mean something to someone."

— Unknown (via undeadlife)

i want a sugar daddy that will support my online shopping addiction!!!

standing in line @ DD……

my eating disorder is taking control like crazy this week. more than ever. this morning i debated whether i should go to the gym or not, get it out the way early in the morning, so i wont be constantly thinking about working out the whole day. I DID. im so proud of myself. worked out for one hour. burned 1000 and something calories. usually after my workouts im not hungry at all. soo

for breakfast i had an activia light  yogurt( 80 calories fat free), and one semi juicy plum. (i dont count calories when i eat veggies and fruit), my mom, sister and i went to the friday prayer at at local mosque and after that she wanted to treat us. when she said that and my sisters like YEAAAHHHH FOOD!  my heart literally skipped a beat( and not in a good way). im thinking. ohh no for fuck sakes! this means I will have to get something or my mom and sister will be suspicious (given my past history with food) ugh. so THEY both decided to dunkin donuts while i sat in the back biting the inside of my cheek praying for an out. i looked on my app to find the lowest  calorie item on the menu. everything exceeds 300 and fucking beyond calories!!! okay. i dont want an ice coffee with whip cream and carmel drizzled on top. i dont want a donut because i JUST DONT. and I DONT want a fattening ass sandwich! 

standing in the line waiting for the clerk to take my order brought on a heat flash. i did not want to mess up my 1000 calorie workout with this shit. overwhelmed i got a pepper jack bagel with cream cheese. 

omg this chick put on eight  inch layer of thick cream cheese, which i scraped off with my finger and flicked it out the window. 

so im home now. checked the calories and its a WHOPPING 410 CALORIES. !!!! WTF. LIKE OMG I FEEL LIKE CRYING. im not eating anything until 5pm. it will be metabolism tea, water and gum for me the rest of the day!!!

omg i cant believe mona is dead. i feel so bad for her!! wtf. ugh. i wish she got out of that mess, went on to college and leave ROSEWOOD behind. smh

after workout dinner.

i haven’t nothing to say lately on here.